How to Stuff a Wild Bikini

I purchased the DVD version of this movie and would like to inform other 'Beach Party' movie lovers that MGM has done a great job on the video and sound. I have in the past had to suffer through very low quality VHS copies of the Beach Party movies, where I wound up throwing away the tape and putting a VHS tape that I recorded off TV into the box. That won't be the case here! (even if I could record a DVD) As for the movie ... Well, it is my least favorite of the Frankie and Annette Beach Party movies ... And I think I'm in the majority there. But if you love the Beach Party genre of movies you have to have this one too and you don't need me to tell you about it.

<standing salute to MGM>

Frankie (Frankie Avalon) is 'working' his Naval Reserve duty on the beaches of Guna Guna Islands with his island bunny. She brings him to witch doctor Bwana (Buster Keaton) with his concerns about Dee Dee (Annette Funicello) stepping out on him. Bwana creates a wild bikini and stuffs it with Cassandra (Beverly Adams) who entices all the men to her. Ad man Peachy (Mickey Rooney) arrives looking for the perfect girl. His assistant Ricky overlooks Cassandra and falls for Dee Dee. Eric Von Zipper (Harvey Lembeck) and his motorcycle gang are back once again.

Frankie Avalon is barely in this one. Annette Funicello has never been a great actress unless watching her eat KFC is appealing. What's the point of Funicello if she's not with Avalon. It would have been great to have her be the Queen of the beach alone teaching kids to surf. More than anything, Mickey Rooney seems to have the most screen time. The rest of the girls are little more than bikini models. Their greatest contribution is spelled out in the first song, their measurements. It's all very light weight. Only Mickey Rooney is capable of any comedy and he's treading water in a sea of clueless young people. This movie needs a younger couple who could take over the franchise. It's sad to see legend Buster Keaton playing a witch doctor. It's inherently sad to use him in such a questionable manner. The most fun aspect of the movie is the title. It is the pinnacle of cheesy beach movie titles.

Frankie Avalon, on naval-reserve duty in Tahiti, does not trust Dee Dee (Annette Funicello) to stay faithful, so he hires Bwana (Buster Keaton), a witch doctor, to help. Bwana conjures up a floating bikini, "stuffs" it with Cassandra, and sends her to distract advertising executive Ricky from Dee Dee.

What to make of this beach movie from American International... it has Mickey Rooney, which is good... and Buster Keaton, which is very good (how AIP convinced him to play these roles is beyond me). And most interestingly, we have the Kingsmen performing.

I liked the running gag with the pelican, but was just confused by the "Healthy Girl" song. And why they even cast a pregnant Funicello is a mystery. I am not knocking her for being pregnant, but it is weird to cast someone pregnant in a beach movie -- she is sitting on the sand in baggy clothes, quite in contrast with everyone else.

Fairly desperate "Beach Party" entry (the sixth in the series!) has Annette Funicello contemplating a new boyfriend while Frankie Avalon is overseas. Enter...Dwayne Hickman? Frankie actually has a rather large cameo role for not receiving a livelier billing, and there's a cute ending, but these kids are starting to look more mature and their hijinks are starting to get musty. Annette sings two solo numbers and a duet, and she's perky and attractive despite being covered up to conceal her real-life pregnancy. The rest is mediocre, particularly leading man Hickman (eternally bland) and supporting player Mickey Rooney (game but charmless). ** from ****

"How to Stuff a Wild Bikini" is almost a pretty good movie. It looks good and has a game cast. It's just a little too dumb to really enjoy. There aren't any real laughs. There are quite a few almost laughs. There are a lot of songs but they are all pretty bad. The only thing the songs have going for them is that they are short, very short. I managed to watch all of "How to Stuff a Wild Bikini" but I don't think I'll be revisiting it anytime soon.