We're Going to Eat You

WE'RE GOING TO EAT YOU is definitely one of the stranger films I've seen in a while...and honestly one of the more enjoyable. It's a very strange hybrid of kung-fu action, cannibal horror, and comedy - with some really off the wall scenes, and some decent gore.

This one has a special government agent (known as agent 999) who goes to a remote island village to track down and arrest a notorious thief. Turns out the villagers are all cannibals who dine on unsuspecting visitors. Gore and hilarity ensue early on as our hero has numerous misadventures with the local townspeople which include various freaks, crazed mask-wearing butchers, a giant transvestite, and the towns chief - a greedy dick who hordes all the "meat" for himself and his security team, leaving almost nothing for the townspeople to live on.

This could have been a really dark film considering the subject matter, but WE'RE GOING TO EAT YOU is intentionally handled as a comedy with all sorts of goofiness to lighten the film - including the insatiable transvestite that doesn't take "no" for an answer, and a hilarious kung-fu segment involving roller-skates and fire-crackers. Many cross-genre films don't really work - but WE'RE GOING TO EAT YOU pulls it off. A great Sunday afternoon diversion - especially with a few drinks in ya...8/10

Aug 21

One of director Tsui Harks early films and a very good one too.

Its a really mix of comedy and martial arts with some pretty gory scenes thrown in and the story does involves cannibalism. This is quite different and well worth checking out.

On the whole i do still prefer Tsui Harks earlier film "The Butterfly Murders".

7.5 out of 10.

two men walk in the forest on an island. they are briefly separated, when the fatter of the two is attacked by four men with cleavers, wearing aprons and leatherface masks. after he is hacked to death, the other one is cornered and brought back to a village, he pleads "can't we all get along" and then he is put on a table and sawed in half.. no none of this is half as gory as is sounds. in fact it is oddly funny. After all these four are just feeding a large community who don't have enough meat. unfortunely, there favorate meat is called traveler (the other white meat). the leader of the the group (eddy ko ,LEATHAL WEAPON 4, HEROS SHED NO TEARS), who dresses like he just robbed a third world dictator, is giving most of the meat to the 'security forces (leatherface look alikes) and the population is getting restless. he manages to placate them a bit, by sending them to a funeral, but all is not well in this glorious canabal paradise (yes there are serious overtones of comunism in this film). now enters security agent 999, hot on the trail of a bandit who now lives in the village. he comes to town, amidst much applause (he looks mighty tasty), and manages to fight off every hungry attacker, all of whom he thinks are sent by the bandit. and then things start getting bloody . . .

this whole movie has the feel of an extended sick joke, but it stays funny throughout, thanks to inventive kung-fu deaths (involving messy means) throughout lots of inventive fight scenes. their are dozens of intricate sight and situation gags, even in the middle of combat scenes. my personal favorate is when agent 999 rolls a cigarete on the face of an attacker before beating the crap out of him. the violence is gorier than a kung-fu flick, but tame compared to most horror films. i managed to catch a screening of one of the two last remaining prints, but i think it is available on vcd and tape. it is a great late night party films, especially with buckets of popcorn on hand to throw at the screen

After tracking his target to a remote island, a government agent looking for a reputed criminal finds the island under the control of a crazed leader that has turned the populace into murderous cannibals like him and forces the agent to use his skills to get away from the island alive.

Overall, the film features quite a lot to like. Among the most enjoyable aspects present is the deranged atmosphere that allows for the various elements to exist together rather easily. As this combines slapstick comedy, martial arts, and brutal horror film within the same space here with an island full of murderous cannibals who attack and kill without discretion but are treated with a sense of mockery at times that produces genuine laughs. The idea of this taking place within the confines of an investigation into a criminal hiding out on the island and the search to find him getting interrupted by the cannibals bringing about the threat of capture and butchery. This carries over into the finale where it constantly features him about to be killed and eaten by the villagers to prevent his escape which has a lot to like about it. Still, the main thing here is the mixing of martial arts and comedy. The overall presentation of this one is a martial arts film, with all sorts of confrontations here that are impressively choreographed and visually exciting. Focusing on crowd attacks for the most part with multiple thugs ganging up on a victim only to have to fight off the gang. There's a lot to like with the ability to incorporate hand-to-hand striking, knife-play, and other weaponry in these battles to enhance the action, and to do this in conjunction with the typical Hong Kong flair for comedy in their battles is a real treat to watch. With scenes involving inadvertent strikes on friends rather than foes, clanging into objects around them in the field of battle, or using an unexpected boost to escape a confrontation, the comedy manages to be quite hilarious while mixed together with the action. That it still remains serious enough that there's a legitimate concern for him in the fights when he's on the losing side is a real testament to the film which has a ton to enjoy. While there isn't much in the film to dislike, there are a few issues. The main problem is that there's an unnecessary and wholly unfunny bit here involving a transvestite character that interferes in the action for no reason. The whole scene is presented as a comic chase around their apartment as she tries to put amorous advances on an unconsenting male that goes on way too long as well, it presents some horribly outdated and at times outright offensive stereotypes that have no place in today's society. As a result, this sequence stops the film cold and feels highly problematic in today's society. Furthermore, the film's wildly changing tone can be an issue as it wildly switches between campy comedy, martial arts spectacular, and tense horror film, oftentimes within the same sequence and can feel highly disjointing and distracting than if it had stuck to one or two storylines instead. However, this isn't that bad and doesn't hold this one down that much.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence, Language and Brief Nudity.

Of the Hong Kong directors who have been most highly regarded by critics and punters, I find Tsui Hark to be the most overrated. Even "Chinese Ghost Story", which has often been credited to Hark and is a very effective and surreal horror pic, was not directed by Hark, but was directed by "Naked Weapon's" Ching Siu-Tung.

"We Are Going To Eat You" has all the flaws of (most) subsequent and previous Hark movies. It is chaotic, repetitive and confusing. The characters are all exaggerated to the point of irritation and the so-called comedy is forced and shrill. There is a gratuitous overuse of wide, low angle compositions and much of the music is inappropriately loud -- one of the main cues, from Argento's "Suspiria" (by Goblin), is an often repeated offender.

Hark leaves his audience no time to breathe or take in the atmosphere in this odd piece of "horror fu" which is a pity because the island location that hero Norman Tsui (Agent 999) lands on to search for a legendary thief, is suitably creepy and hostile.

Unfortunately, every scene is attacked with a sledgehammer and every actor overreacts to everything. What you end up with is a film with no shading and no contrast, a loud blob of sound and picture serving no purpose but to assault the senses like an infant screaming into your face for ninety minutes.

For gore hounds there is a bit of limb-lopping and copious blood is spilled, but there is zero suspense and endless martial arts fights that come across like low rent Jackie Chan. And speaking of Chan, many viewers will recognize the familiar "Project A" sets on display.

Hark's debut feature "The Butterfly Murders" bored me silly and his follow-up "Dangerous Encounters" (aka "Don't Play With Fire") didn't impress either with its confused politics and sledgehammer style. His "The Lovers", however, made almost two decades later, is his finest achievement so far, a simple romantic drama directed with admirable restraint and style.

This film's mix of cannibalism, broad physical comedy and kung fu comes across as misdirected and awkward. I'd only recommend this to die-hard Hark or cannibal cinema completists. The rest should look elsewhere for their entertainment.