The Calcium Kid

I first saw 'The Calcium Kid' at the end of 2004, and have since bought the DVD. This movie is very underrated, with great performances from a mostly-unknown-outside-of-the-United-Kingom (at the time) cast. The film begins a week before a much-anticipated title fight between World Champion Jose Mendez (Michael Pena-Crash) of the United States and the undefeated British challenger Pete Wright (Tamer Hassan-The Football Factory). Wright is injured while sparring with Jimmy Connolly (Orlando Bloom), a milkman who is yet to have his first fight. Fearful of losing his chance at fame, Wright's manager Herbie Bush (Omid Djalili) replaces Wright with Connolly without telling Mendez or his take-no-prisoners manager, Artie Cohen (Michael Lerner-Barton Fink). The fight gains huge amounts of publicity due to the unusual nature of it, and the days preceding the fight send Connolly spiraling from underdog hopeful to fascist and everywhere in between.

Orlando Bloom is great in his performance as Jimmy Connolly. I think it is his best yet, in fact. As the leading man, he shows his skills at comedy, and is free from being overshadowed by the ensemble cast of Lord Of The Rings and Pirates Of The Caribbean. His reactions to the situations he finds himself in over the days before the big fight are priceless and pulled off realistically. Bloom, acting outside his normal period piece roles, proves that he can pull off many a different role.

Tamer Hassan is also great as the disgruntled Pete Wright. Despite his attempts to publicly humiliate Connolly and Bush, you really feel for his situation. Having the chance of a lifetime taken from you by a milkman is enough to set anybody off, and Hassan does the role justice in a hilarious way.

The Calcium Kid features great performances all around, such as those I've already mentioned, as well as Michael Pena, Michael Lerner and Omid Djalili. Look for supporting roles by Rafe Spall and Billie Piper as well.

Lastly, something must be said of first time writer/director Alex De Rakoff. The script is hilarious, and the mockumentary-style directing are spot-on. I only hope this is the first of many for De Rakoff.

To conclude, The Calcium Kid is one of the funniest films I've seen in a long time. Not only that, but Bloom's performance really makes you want to see his character pull off the upset of a lifetime. See this film; you will not be disappointed.

Obviously this film is going to come under un-necessary scrutiny because it stars rising talent and heart-throb, Orlando Bloom. But at the same time, his presence in this quirky British 'mokumentary' brought the film publicity which it wouldn't have been privileged to without Bloom's status. A double-edged sword.

Orlando Bloom is clearly a pretty face. And as shown in the Calcium Kid, a very pretty body (ATTENTION to all teenage girls who are a fan of Orlando- he is topless for a fairly long time!). But people are eager to see if Orlando can stand on his own two feet without high-profile and highly-talented actors like Johnny Depp (Pirates) and Brad Pitt (Troy) to help save his films. So far, Orlando hasn't really had a chance to show-case his acting talents as he hasn't yet played the lead role in a film. Until now. Granted, the Calcium Kid is a little British flick (sort of in the same category as Bend it Like Beckham) and it is a comedy, obviously audiences aren't going to see a really insightful glimpse into Orlando's capabilities.

Still, the Calcium Kid is surprisingly...good. That's right. It's funny. It's simple, charming and...funny!

Bloom plays milk-man Jimmy who is an amateur boxer (a hobby of his). Jimmy has had 0 wins. 0 losses. and 0 knock-outs. But a few bizarre mis-haps have Jimmy facing-off with a world boxing champion and things start going terribly wrong as his ignorant, and money-hungry manager, Herbie Bush (very funny Omid Djalili) lands him in the bad-books with his local town.

Look, Bloom isn't going for an Oscar with this film. It is a quaint, funny little British comedy. It is a guarantee'd laugh, and I highly recommend it.

As Jimmy's dad says "in a two-horse race, one horse has to win" - the Calcium Kid is a winning comedy. So give it a go.

No wonder this movie never got a world wide release. It's a simple made little movie that tries to be original in several different ways but fails at it in about every way possible.

This movie is supposed to be a fake documentary, a so called mockumentary, that focuses on the build up to a title-boxing match, set in London, between the champion Jose Mendez (Michael Pena) and the underdog and milkman Jimmy 'The Calcium Kid' Connelly. It makes you wonder that if this is supposed to be a fake documentary, than why isn't it made in documentary style. It uses movie camera positions, lighting and editing, complete with cuts and different positions and a chronological scene build up. Basically the only way they tried to make it look a bit like a documentary, is by adding a 'camera' voice-over and they let the camera being attacked and talked into a couple of times. It's really lame and it certainly doesn't add to the credibility or realism of the movie. The movie as a whole is hard to take serious since it goes comically so over-the-top that it isn't even good as a funny one. The humor is lame and simple, the sort of stuff a 9-year would normally come up with.

The movie is made in 'new-English style'. The kind of style which Guy Ritchie first began to use in his movies. Fast editing, fast pace, a cool style and music, over-the-top character and lots of humor. This is probably the only reason why this movie still remains a perfectly watchable one. It however does not always work out perfect. The characters for instance are all far from likable and/or comical. The humor itself on its own is also quite simple and awkward. This movie is far from funny or clever.

The movie is filled with surprising many good and well known actors, for such a small movie as this one. The material and dialog they have to work with however isn't world class and the barely manage to make certain sequences and situations to still work out. Most of the actors also feel out of place. Orlando Bloom certainly isn't in his element as normal and simple everyday person. He just isn't the greatest comical talent around, which shows in this movie.

Reading the premise of this movie, a inexperienced underdog against the boxing champion, one could immediately scream; "Rocky" ripoff! It certainly is true that this movie is far from original and the fact that the movie literally also spoofs some moments and entire sequences, completely with the same music, from the Rocky movies doesn't help to make this movie an original one that you can take serious as a boxing movie, not even as a comical meant to be one. In the end the movie still tries to take a surprising and non-formulaic twist but the twist is far from good, interesting or funny for that mater. As a matter of fact it gives the movie a bad aftertaste.

A failed movie on many accounts. Still somewhat watchable thanks to its style.

5/10

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I thought that The Calcium Kid was a good wee film. It was an interesting story. It was good to see how Jimmy prepared himself both physically and mentally in order to fight against Jose Mendez. Was also good how they portrayed Pete Wright as a Cockney thug hell bent in revenge against Jimmy. Orlando Bloom played this role well! Good on him! I enjoyed how they also portrayed Jimmy's manager. He was arrogant slimy and showed what it could be like if you were gonna get yourself a manager. Felt sorry for Jimmy as he was turned against because the manager was a bit of a prat and only wanted tension. Poor guy. The fan who went to Jimmy's house was quite good as well. That showed that there are fans who can do that sort of thing and just appear at their idol's door. She was convincing! Overall a very good film considering it was a low budget one. I couldn't pick anything that was wrong about it off the top of my head!

In a era of 'reality TV' this low budget 'mockumentary' is a diamond in the rough, the storyline has heart but also manages to be one of the most amusing films I've seen in some time. It's a great movie about overcoming your fears and beating the odds, and it accomplishes this with laughter all the way which is a precious commodity this day and age. I find that I am Very anxious to add this movie to my collection, as soon as it's available in the States that is. :-) As a huge fan of Orlando's it was gratifying to see him turn in ANOTHER wonderful performance but it was truly great to see his sillier side come into play and I'm glad someone finally tapped into the comic talent his true fans know he possesses. Orlando's many fans in America will be blessed when this DVD is made available to us, and unfortunately for the guys, he will steal even more hearts so you can all just stop your crying now!