A Kid Like Jake

Good subject, but just didn't learn much or feel much of a connection to the issue and especially to Jake who maybe occupied five minutes of an 89 minute movie. Seemed to be more about the parents personal issues so maybe should have been titled "The Parents of Jake". Seems many other 5 star & lower viewer's comments had similar thoughts.

Greetings again from the darkness. Hot societal topics often become fodder for new movies, and this usually results in a slew of similar stories - some good, others not so good. Currently, discussions of gender identity is second only to Trump-bashing in terms of media attention, and so we can expect Hollywood to rush-to-production in order to capitalize. This latest from director Silas Howard had a timing advantage as it was adapted by writer Daniel Pearle from his own play.

The titular Jake is a 4 year old (his 5th birthday party plays a role) who enjoys fairy tales and dressing like a princess. His stay-at-home mom (Claire Danes as Alex Wheeler) and psychologist father (Jim Parsons as Greg Wheeler) are aware of Jake's preferences, but as with most things in their marriage, what minimal conversation occurs is of the over-the-top arguing type. The "issue" is painfully and awkwardly brought to the forefront as the parenting couple subject themselves to the Private Pre-School application process.

The challenges of parenthood, including judgmental friends and relatives, and the competitive nature of comparisons, are beyond obvious in most every scene of Act 1. Even Alex's (probably not coincidental that her name is gender-neutral) mother (Ann Dowd) is passive-aggressive in her judgments of Alex quitting her job as a lawyer to stay home with her son. Octavia Spencer co-stars as Jake's teacher and counselor to the Wheelers during the application process, and even her role has a twist designed to elicit more judgment and discrimination.

There is really nothing convincing throughout the film. It's barely Lifetime Channel material, with a simplified emphasis on the difficulties of raising a non-conforming child. The incessant arguing amongst parents, family members, and friends makes each successive scene more annoying than the previous. The film should have been entitled "Parents Like Jake's" because Jake has almost no screen time, while Ms. Danes flashes her "Carrie cry-face" (for "Homeland" fans) incessantly.

Certainly the topic of gender identity and non-conformity is worthy of discussion and analysis, as it has entered mainstream conscience in less than one generation. Anxiety and confusion exists, and even well-meaning conversation can take a wrong turn quickly. We just need - and deserve - better guidance than this film provides.

SPOILER: Given that this was originally written as a play, it may be unavoidable that most of the story is of the adults. Jake's father is a Freudian-style psychologist, and there is a fair degree of filler as he repeatedly meets with a client. Jake's mother has had ballet training, had worked as a lawyer, but dropped out to be a full-time mother, to the disapproval of HER mother.

Filled with fairy tales read by his mother, there is little attempt by either parent to "correct" Jake's non-gender-conforming behavior - wearing dresses, playing the role of princess. Even at a queer-friendly pre-school, there are signs of trouble. Things get worse when the parents try to place Jake in a private kindergarten, where trial placements often end up with verbal abuse and fights.

The entire story happens over maybe 8 months, so there is no answer to the question as to whether Jake grows out non-conforming behavior, or actually identifies as a girl. I did note that Jake's last scene had him wearing not a dress but a tutu. Was it all simply his mother's influence?

It's 2018, so it was only a matter or time before a movie like this was made. I think much like what this movie is about, it struggles to find what it wants to be. I don't think this movie is a fair representation of what a family goes through when their kid struggles with finding their identity. I don't disagree with making a movie like this and raising awareness, but this was poorly executed. Don't get lost in the higher profiles actors and be fooled that this good.

With parents and teachers like these, that kid doesn't stand a chance. This movie could be a documentary on how to destroy a child's future. This is a household where the parents are at best confused, and probably too immature to raise a child. There are no boundaries, no expectations and no one has the courage to put a disruptive non conforming child in his place. You want a messed up kid? Follow this example.